I would have gone back to work tomorrow, had I not resigned.
I would not have resigned if a) my job had not been changed, and b) we were not moving area (still don't know where)
BUT...
I feel rage boiling inside me that it is not possible for me, as the mother of my children, to put ALL of the energy I would put into an earning-a-living job into being there for them. Being a mother all the time is incredibly challenging: I shout, I grumble, I put the TV on too much, I sigh and tut. But I also hug, console, organise, clean, create, cook, praise, invent, advise, share, a million other things...including
love those two girls with every fibre of my fiercely protective heart. I am their mother, a fact I am still in awe of.
I want to be there for them at any point of the day (OK, and night if I must, haha) that they feel the need. I don't want them to have to wonder for even an instant 'What day is it, will Mummy be there?', I want them to have the assurance that my only role is to be there for them, just like I had with my Mum.
F***ing stupid government/economy/blah which seeks only to reward the parents who hand over the care of their children to paid strangers, and gives F**K ALL to those parents who, surprise surprise, want to share the care of their own children. Or who are lucky enough to have willing and able grandparents to look after the children while they work.
There is fury inside me, I'm telling you.
