Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Where to start?

I've been trying to write a blog post for a long time.

I've been having huge issues with sleep, or rather lack of it, and it's not over yet. (Maybe when G is 3, suggests one cruel-but-honest friend.)

I'm coping. Just. With a lot of support from Adriano. Who is also exhausted. And has lots of family issues among other trials. And why am I typing weird short sentences?

I love G so much and understand why people call it a 'fierce' love.

I like being the mum (and even 'the wife'!) in our new little family unit. It feels so good.

I'm such a worrier; I lie awake at night and wonder how to work the logistics of leaving G while I go to work for 2 days a week in Sept. I realise I am very lucky to only be going 2 days per week.
G can now roll over in both directions although occasionally still gets stuck. I love the look of triumph on her face when she manages it.

She's had 2 lots of baby rice now (in spite of the WHO saying wait until 6 months. I have my reasons.) I'm considering starting to mix feed her with formula soon and am trying to come to terms with that because in many ways it will cut a lot of stress. And I'm hoping she can still have a breastmilk feed at least once in the day or night. I won't miss the mastitis. Or the leaking, although I guess that can still happen. Lovely.

She giggles in an understated but very cute way when I kiss her neck or ribs. She continues to look just like Adriano although every now and then I catch something of me in her look.

Seeing friends helps on my darker days. It's mostly just lack of sleep that drives me crazy.
She's napping now but I know she'll be finished in 10 mins and I just had to eat something, otherwise I would be napping now too.

I have read a hell of a lot of sleep books now. Apparently babies her age should have a minimum of 4 hours naps per day. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Although at times I desperately need a break from G, when I have an hour or two without her I miss her. Classic!

I often change her nappy around 5am and she gives me such lovely smiles in the quiet early morning light.




About Me

My photo
* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *