Little G at 19 months and a bit

The sleep, and the getting to sleep, is still disturbed. There have been 3 nights of sleeping through the night now since we got back from holiday on Sept 5th, but one of those was only 8 hours long.

The sentences, or at least the putting words together, are coming thick and fast. "Mummy do it", "Let's find Daddy", "want monkey", "I don't like it", "show mummy now", and so on.

First proper haircut took place - cute as a button (before and after). Hairdresser looked at me like I was crazy when I asked for the back curls. I know G's hair will be straight forever now so I want that baby curl!

Last few days has started saying stuff like "Ribbit, ribbit, I am a frog", "Choo chooooo, I am a train".

Loves being gently tickled and when I stop she'll say "Again!"

Offers her food and drink to us and her toys, and occasionally to inanimate objects: "Mummy some......Daddy some.......Betty/Teddy/Monkey some......"

Can say her name better now, just struggling with the 'r'. Her version used to sound a bit like 'Genghis' so a vast improvement!

Adores songs, almost any. Sings by herself now, especially Wind the bobbin up and See the little bunnies sleeping.

Can sometimes wee on the toilet before bath - can you believe I'm writing this on the internet - but we are proud.

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In other news we are increasingly frustrated at living in a rented place. Conversations range from "let's build an eco-home on a plot of land somewhere" to "let's commute from Hastings/Tonbridge/Tunbridge Wells/Oxford/Eastbourne/Berkhamsted" etc etc bloody etc.

I would like another baby but so far it's not happening. The pressure is off though, it's nothing like last time. I count myself lucky whether we have 1 child or 2. That's not to say I'm not broody, but I feel I have things more in perspective this time.

The weather is turning here and although mild, it's wet and the yellow and red leaves are blowing around our feet. G looks out of the window and says "It's wet.......spider, up there.......leaf down there.........", she has it nailed.

This too shall pass

Quick update to say that we survived the holiday in Portugal, but ever since, G's sleep has been appalling. I am in bits and feeling really low about it right now. Too tired to write more details at the moment.

Had a sad week as a friend who's been longing to conceive for a while told me she'd just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at a 6 week scan. My heart hurt when I heard this, not least because we had an anxious 6 week scan where we saw a heartbeat...but that grew into Little G. How lucky we are, but they are not and it is hard for them. I wish this raw time to pass quickly for them. On to the next bit of daring to hope again. Which is also hard in its way of course.

Then another friend lost her mum to cancer after only a few weeks of it returning with a vengeance. There are so many sad things to say about this that I don't even know where to start. My heart aches for this friend too.

Better end with some positive stuff, I think.

Little G enjoyed her first experiences of swimming pools while we were on holiday. I am relieved and happy about that.
She charmed the locals by saying hello, goodbye and thank you in Portuguese when prompted, and sometimes before.
She can count to 17 now, it's crazy. I swear we are not consciously teaching her.
I went back to work this week after the summer and it was just about OK.
I made a new friend this week at a baby group.
I realised after Adriano pointed it out that I really am a lot more comfortable about making smalltalk these days. That may not sound like much to smile about but I'll take it.
Adriano has called me this evening from his work thingy and was lovely and supportive about the sleep issues.

18 months

Eighteen months ago today I was exhausted but elated and full of wonder, looking at my new little daughter. Now she's a little girl, a toddler, really no longer a baby.

A few days ago she said her first sentence, "I like seagulls", and tonight in the bath she did a lot of drill impressions and then said "drill!" and beamed at me cheekily. It's a word she learnt this afternoon after pointing to a man with a drill on her jigsaw puzzle. When she heard Adriano open the front door she said clearly "Daddy's home" and gave a little squeal of excitement.

I tried to write down the words she said today. I got as far as : puzzle, balloon, fairy, off, cup, bowl, book, ball, 'Mummy read it', dinosaur, dolly, teddy, bird, cow, pig, elephant, dog, cat, 'I like stories', toys, children, ...and then I gave up as it's a never ending task now.

She can count to 12!

I'm so ridiculously proud of her every move. Can you tell?

The truth is, I'm quite sure if she wasn't doing all these things yet, I would love her every bit as much. I feel so connected to her. She gives the most gorgeous hugs these days, really wrapping herself around me, or cuddling my legs if I'm standing. Every morning when she wakes up (hideously early) I feel like I can't bear to be dragged from sleep, but within a few minutes she has usually won me over with her chatter.

I'm so lucky to have her, and this love in my life.

Why do I look so ghostly?

Adriano and I celebrated 2 years of marriage a few weeks ago. I think we're doing great! We stayed at my parents' house so we could leave G there while we went out in the evening - the first time we've done that since she was born.

August update

Feeling a bit low today. Isolated, bored, emotional, uninspired, inadequate, frustrated.
Somewhere in there I'm also happy and grateful too.

Little G is going to be 18 months old in a week's time. I am biased of course, but her vocabulary astounds me every day. She has started to put 2 or 3 words together, e.g. 'mummy's tea' or 'flags up there'. It's very exciting to see her develop at all, let alone so fast. Sometimes we go to the corner shop, walking together without the pushchair. She holds my hand and walks purposefully up the road with me, pointing at things she sees - 'red car', 'wi(n)dow', 'flower', 'bin', 'door', 'cat'. Occasionally she'll stop and examine something more closely. When we get to the shop, the owner always says hello very enthusiastically, and when prompted she replies 'he-yo', and waves and maybe smiles.

I take her to a rather rowdy local playgroup (I suppose they all are). She holds her own with the shouters and roarers and pushers, all of whom are older and taller than her. I am so proud. She struts off confidently to explore the table of plastic dinosaurs, the table of puzzles, the table of trains, the toy kitchen, the book corner. Every now and then she'll look round for me and maybe bring me something to look at - a plastic tomato, or a baby doll, or a picture book.

I'm in love.