Saturday, 16 October 2010

I dare to ask

I don't know if it's my Catholic upbringing, but I do sometimes feel guilty if I want even just what a lot of others have, when there is so much 'not enough' in the world. That's terrible sentence construction but you know what I mean.

But if I am daring to ask, this is what I would like:

To become pregnant with another healthy baby, preferably without the 24-7 sickness.
To manage to give birth a bit more naturally the second time around. (I don't give myself a hard time about having a Caesarean birth last time, but it would be nice to improve upon the experience.)
To find a house as good as or better than the last one we viewed today, with enough rooms, plenty of natural light, lots of storage, a dishwasher, safe outside space, surrounding trees, neutral decor in decent condition, and good schools nearby (!). We must be able to afford the mortgage & other outgoings comfortably too.
To find a solution which enables easy cheap childcare with someone G (& sibling?) loves so I can still work up to 2 days per week. (At the moment my mum does it and it works really well but it cannot last for a few reasons.)
To snack on fruit/veg/oatcakes etc instead of chocolate/biscuits/cake, 95% of the time.
To tone up my stomach.
To sleep through the night whenever G does.
To make my own birthday cards again.
To write a song for G that makes her laugh.
To write and illustrate a story for G that makes her laugh.
To get through to Adriano how loved and appreciated he is by me, and by his friends and family.
To find storage solutions that can be sustained by all of us who live together in our little family! i.e. get rid of that sodding clutter.
To cook from scratch more until it becomes a more natural thing to do and I feel confident and happy to do it.
To respond to G's emerging 'independence' (strops) with calm and ingenuity and love and good grace, in a way that gives her what she needs and leaves me feeling like a good mum (and not a mug).
To become a more confident teacher at work; to be more imaginative in my planning and my handling of discipline; to have more fun through my work.
To learn basic gardening skills/sense so that I can grow a few bits and bobs for us to eat. Tomatoes would be a good start.
To get over my fear of killing/being killed in a car and finally learn to drive.
To practise yoga every day for at least 10 minutes.
To continue to make new friends and talk easily to strangers. I have got so much better at this since having G.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Single mum does the right thing with grace

I am so frustrated because I want to leave a comment and can't do it - no comment box appears - but .... how amazing is this lady aka Some Mothers Do Ave Em.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Little G at 19 months and a bit

The sleep, and the getting to sleep, is still disturbed. There have been 3 nights of sleeping through the night now since we got back from holiday on Sept 5th, but one of those was only 8 hours long.

The sentences, or at least the putting words together, are coming thick and fast. "Mummy do it", "Let's find Daddy", "want monkey", "I don't like it", "show mummy now", and so on.

First proper haircut took place - cute as a button (before and after). Hairdresser looked at me like I was crazy when I asked for the back curls. I know G's hair will be straight forever now so I want that baby curl!

Last few days has started saying stuff like "Ribbit, ribbit, I am a frog", "Choo chooooo, I am a train".

Loves being gently tickled and when I stop she'll say "Again!"

Offers her food and drink to us and her toys, and occasionally to inanimate objects: "Mummy some......Daddy some.......Betty/Teddy/Monkey some......"

Can say her name better now, just struggling with the 'r'. Her version used to sound a bit like 'Genghis' so a vast improvement!

Adores songs, almost any. Sings by herself now, especially Wind the bobbin up and See the little bunnies sleeping.

Can sometimes wee on the toilet before bath - can you believe I'm writing this on the internet - but we are proud.


In other news we are increasingly frustrated at living in a rented place. Conversations range from "let's build an eco-home on a plot of land somewhere" to "let's commute from Hastings/Tonbridge/Tunbridge Wells/Oxford/Eastbourne/Berkhamsted" etc etc bloody etc.

I would like another baby but so far it's not happening. The pressure is off though, it's nothing like last time. I count myself lucky whether we have 1 child or 2. That's not to say I'm not broody, but I feel I have things more in perspective this time.

The weather is turning here and although mild, it's wet and the yellow and red leaves are blowing around our feet. G looks out of the window and says "It's wet.......spider, up there.......leaf down there.........", she has it nailed.

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* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *

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