Thursday, 22 November 2007

me elf, etc

I have been ill with (another) cough and cold and (new!) chest infection for the past week.

I am so sick of feeling under the weather. I feel guilty for not being at work, even though the doctor has signed me off this time. I have antibiotics so I am improving at last. It's been 'orrible.

Adriano has a new motorbike. It is way more comfortable to ride and goes faster than his last one. He's going to take me for a spin on Saturday when my current house arrest is lifted. I'm looking forward to the trip.

My sister is staying over at the moment. She's going through a messy and tortured relationship split, which she is supposed to be instigating anytime now. Not easy.

Speaking of torture, today I diligently practised all the Christmas songs that I'll be playing in my school's concert in a few weeks. Never in my life have I had to play Rudolph the RNR. The indignity of it. I'm more of a 'Truth From Above' girl myself.

Photo: the old bike, god rest its soul.

Thursday, 15 November 2007


My throbbing-head-cough has returned. I don't understand it. I was 'all better' yesterday.

Friday, 9 November 2007

Friday Foughts

I have just had the entire week off work, sick. I was going to go in today, but when I contacted my colleague last night, she said not to bother!! They had already booked a supply teacher, and said I needed to be properly better. I couldn't believe it but I liked it very much. I almost thought 'what's the matter, don't you want me there?'! Ha ha ha, like I missed the place. Ha.
The only problem is that when you dread your job and you are away from it for a while, it's even harder to go back.

So anyway, apart from a very short trip to the pharmacy yesterday to get cough mixture, I hadn't been out of the house since Monday. I went for a wonderful walk in the Autumn sunshine, and felt very grateful not to be at work, and so glad at the sunshine and the lovely park and the river and the fresh air. See photos below.

I have finally made up my mind (I think!) what kind of engagement ring I would like. I'm well aware that there's no need to have one at all, but I must admit I would like one. I've scoured the internet but have not found my chosen design anywhere, and really it's not that outrageous. Tomorrow Adriano and I are going to visit a shop we both like to see if it can be made for us. Part of me thinks it's 'wrong', as I feel guilty for wanting something which costs so much more than I would ever normally feel comfortable with. But then there's another part of me thinking that this is a symbol of such a beautiful thing. People who say 'I'd wear a coke can ring pull if he gave it to me' obviously haven't tried wearing it for long! Actually I guess it's the wedding ring that symbolises the hugest commitment of all, and our engagement isn't for many months, but nonetheless I'll be wearing the engagement ring an awful lot too so I have to really like it.

See that whole paragraph is just the kind of crap that I didn't want to come out with! I don't want to be 'obsessed engaged lady'! But for a while I am, so there. I've been longing to feel this. I'm enjoying it like it's a guilty pleasure.

And it sure is good for distracting me from my usual circular thoughts about infertility.

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Cough. Splutter. Choke. Groan.

The fluey aches didn't last long, thank goodness, but this cough is horrible. Every now and then I feel bad for still being off work, but then I have another fit of panicky, hot-and-cold, retching coughing, and I suddenly don't feel so guilty after all. Lovely!

Just now I made myself a delicious dinner of quorn and mushroom pie with steamed broccoli and carrots. Then I threw it into my lap. I'm not sure how I did it, but it was HOT. And now there's carrot in the carpet.

Recently I've really been enjoying the new series of Brat Camp - Mums and Daughters. It's like a tonic to aggrieved teachers or parents; it's wonderful. I even shed a tear over it this morning.

Being engaged was surprisingly fraught for Adriano and me at first, but now I am starting to enjoy it, and I hope he is too.

We've worked out our guest list already, as we're only inviting 16 people (not including ourselves) to the actual ceremony. There'll be no best men or bridesmaids, so that takes even more of the organisation and stress out of the picture. We know where we want to take our families for (a vegetarian) lunch (and it's walking distance from where we're getting married), and then we plan to go straight to the pub to meet any other relatives and friends who can make it there to wish us well. I feel better about leaving friends out of the ceremony now that we hope to see them later on the same day, rather than our original plan of a post-honeymoon party. Besides, we can also opt to have our ceremony put online for them all to see - an idea that I rather like.

As for the honeymoon, it's looking like we'll take another trip to the USA for a few weeks (or as long as we can get away with), this time to include some places on the West Coast.

The crazy thing is that we're still hoping to move out of London around the same time as our wedding, and last night we had a discussion as to where. We have been saying Brighton for ages, but now we're having to face hard facts: too many people want to live there and neither of us have been able to find employment there so far. The cool thing about that predicament is that we're now opening up our search to include pretty much everywhere in the world! Boston, Sydney and Edinburgh have all been mentioned, as has Canterbury... I thought it best to warn my mum that we just might not be moving to the same county as her after all.

So it could all get a little mad around the time of the wedding. All the more reason to have a simple fuss-free plan for the day itself.

We've been talking about our possible wedding plans for some months now, so it only took Adriano's proposal for us to go ahead with some of what we'd already talked about. I recommend doing it all a bit backwards like that, as we're not now having to have laboured conversations about guest lists and all that crap. When I hear how it is for some couples, I feel more and more happy with our choices. It's a jungle out there, and it's totally f-cked up!!!
For example, whatever I end up wearing, I take delight in planning to spend only about a fifth of what my sister's wedding dress cost (and that was in 1989!). And we're considering having wooden wedding rings, so there.

And the best thing about it all is that I really like my future husband (giggle giggle). He's my best friend. Somehow that makes all this stuff really moving. We've earned this time of happiness; we've worked so hard at being present in our relationship, and facing our fears. Of course that's a lifetime's work, but we're on the track already, and I'm proud of that.

Bridezilla's not here yet, that's for sure.

But I do want flowers in my hair...

Monday, 5 November 2007

I have flu. It is not fun. I will be missing work tomorrow.

Adriano and I are getting married on 08.08.08. Cool, eh?

Sunday, 4 November 2007

Yesterday I went to Canterbury for the day.

I've been rather silent lately, given the recent delightful drama in my life.
But it's not just blogging that has suffered. I've barely taken any photos in the last few months (and when I have they've been crappy), and I've hardly seen any friends.
This ruddy job is sucking me dry.
The mornings are hard work but mostly do-able now.
The afternoons are still s-h-i-t.
I'm permanently tired. I didn't ovulate this month. I'm getting more spots than usual. I'm not eating enough vegetables and I'm eating too much chocolate.
BUT. I love fireworks! And this site! And I'm engaged to Adriano!

Life is full of surprises.

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Not a single trick or treater came to our house.

We'll just have to eat all the sweets ourselves. What a shame.

Birthday catch-up

It was Adriano's birthday on Sunday, and also my oldest niece turns 15 today. HB, A and F!


One week ago today, Adriano asked me to marry him.
I said yes.

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* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *

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