Wednesday 31 December 2008

In 2008...

For me, it really has been the most incredible year.

I think I've finally succumbed to the 'baby mush brain' part of pregnancy, so this year's round up will not be as detailed as last year's. But there are a few enormous things worth mentioning:

In 2008 Adriano and I went through 2 unsuccessful IUIs.

Adriano's mum was diagnosed with cancer and is currently fighting it brilliantly. In fact it's her birthday today: Happy Birthday Jen! We love you.

I had the shock of my life: after 3 years of trying to conceive, we got pregnant naturally (unless you count possible residual Clomid as a contributing factor). The sickness from week 6 to week 20-ish was a complete bitch, but now it's gone. As I write this, our baby girl is kicking me in the ribs. I am starting to admit to a growing terror of the impending birth, but we are both so excited about meeting our daughter. Sometimes I just sit and cry because I'm so happy! When the serious lack of sleep kicks in I'm sure my tears will have a different chemical composition entirely, but until then... I've never been so happy in my life.

We got married! And we're still glad we did! I didn't stop smiling all day; it was wonderful. Thank you, my best friend and love, Adriano. x o x o x o x

We went to Wales, and Kefalonia.

I continued doing Salutes to the Sun most mornings (when not sick) and also went to some ante-natal yoga classes. I'll carry on with those in January.

In reference to last year's hopes and dreams, I didn't get a cat, or move to Brighton, but I do think I have grown up a bit more this year. I'm still working on taking responsibility for my own feelings and sometimes I think I actually manage it. It's a lifetime's work I reckon.

I still did almost no gardening. Oops.

I carried on cycling to work a couple of times a week until I felt too vulnerable (because of the baby bump) to continue.

I started working in 2 new schools as well as staying part-time with last year's one. It's been a bit hectic, but knowing that maternity leave would kick in after a term has helped me survive.

I started to learn to drive! This is HUGE for me. I've been avoiding it like the plague for many years. It has come as a pleasant surprise that I'm not totally crap at it. Hooray!

In 2009 I'd like to see more friends than I have this year. In fact I'd like to make some more, locally. This has every chance of happening if I get myself to those mother-and-baby groups in the coming months.

One of this year's looming challenges (for both Adriano and me) will be coping financially with my loss of earnings. I am planning a part-time return to work in September, when the baby will be 6 months old. I'm hoping it all goes as smoothly as possible.

Of course the most incredible thing of all : if all goes well we will meet and learn to care for our daughter in 2009. I cannot truly express how I feel about that. It's just the most amazing and awe-inspiring and longed-for thing. I'm not sure who or what to say thank you to for that gift, but I'm certainly bursting with gratitude. Make no mistake, the gratitude is mixed with fear, but I feel so alive! Life is so intense! I like it like that.

There's just a handful of people who read this blog, but you are all very important to me. I wish you a fulfilling and superb 2009, stuffed with fun and laughter and excitement and peace and happiness.

Monday 29 December 2008

Gratitude

I am so thankful to have this time of relaxation. I went to a family gathering yesterday with quite a nightmare journey to and from the venue, but apart from that I have just been at home with Adriano chilling out and it's been gooooood. I can have kips when I need to. Adriano cooks lovely meals (and I endlessly wash up). We even play a few X-box games together, much to A's delight.

Excuse me, I feel another nap coming on.

Wednesday 24 December 2008

Saturday 20 December 2008

I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Four piano-playing concerts later, school has broken up for the Christmas holidays. My maternity leave officially begins on the day school starts in January. So that's it. No more school for me until September. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehah! I am so relieved. At times I have felt a bit of a fraud, finishing work when I still have weeks and weeks of my pregnancy to go...but then at other moments in the last few weeks when I've felt dizzy, faint, uncomfortable, and exhausted, suddenly finishing right now seems downright sensible. My mum tells me that in the 'olden days' pregnant women would all finish working at 6 months even if they felt wonderfully well, and I'm now 7 months, so...

As I write this Adriano is eagerly playing Gears of War 2, which you may just recognise on the TV behind me in this pic.

Putting socks on is getting harder by the day.

Monday 8 December 2008

Have now had 9 driving lessons. Theory test is booked. Not ready for practical test yet but still enjoying learning. Always get a bit scared before the lesson but seem to be making a little bit of progress each time.

My arms are itchy almost all the time. Why?

I'm 29 weeks pregnant today. Have been feeling niggly pains and very dizzy at times today but other than that am healthy as far as I know, and the baby is kicking. Still not sleeping deeply but if that's my only real problem I am lucky. Counting the days until maternity leave begins. Officially it's not until I'm 33 weeks pregnant, but because of glorious 'end of school term' it means I actually stop going into work in 11 days time. Thank god, work tires me out like nothing else. Except possibly shopping on Oxford Street...which I always avoid like the plague.

Went on a Ghost Walk at the weekend. Was a bit naff but enjoyed it anyway.

Occasionally feeling a bit panicky about how isolated I'm going to be once the baby is born. In spite of living in this area for 5 years now, I have no local friends at all! I am hoping that I'll make some through the NCT classes we're having in January. I will certainly join parent & baby groups etc but I'm more thinking of when I've got flu or whatever.

Have made a huge long list of things to accomplish on maternity leave. Let's hope I feel well enough to do at least some of them. Is weird having to take things so slowly all the time. Am so excited to meet our baby. Terrified, but excited. Still feel a bit in a dream. Like it's all happening to someone else; this is someone else's story. I (and we) wanted this for so long. It's a strange feeling to allow myself to be in the present moment, and the present moment involves me-with-a-growing-baby-bump. Incredible. (Photo taken a few days ago, at 28.5 weeks)

Monday 1 December 2008

A hurried update

I had a lovely birthday yesterday. It pissed it down all weekend but hey. Blue skies today.

Adriano took me to Rochester for the night, and we had a gorgeous evening meal. We heard the choir rehearsing evensong in the cathedral. The next day (my actual b'day) I was spoiled rotten with fab and funny presents, and had lunch with A's parents too. Later we had a Thai meal. There was an awful lot of eating now I come to think of it.

Have to do the washing up then go to bed. 12 crazy days of teaching left.

I'm 28 weeks today. Third trimester here I come!

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* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *

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