Friday, 22 April 2011

28+2 weeks

We have been, and still are, ill again. I'm coming to the end of 2 weeks' holiday from work, and have been ill the entire time. G has it a bit, and yesterday Adriano started coming down with it, or something, as well.

In a nutshell it involves coughing and coughing and coughing and not really sleeping.

Arrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't need this. So fed up with hearing myself bark like a dog every few seconds. Also every time I do I have to have a hand free to hold in my growing hernias (that makes me gag, it is so gross) round my navel. The doctor told me to do that to avoid them strangulating and therefore requiring emergency surgery (while pregnant - hmmm). Also I keep waking up about 10 mins after falling asleep and my airways feel closed and I can't stop retching and coughing until eventually I get some control and calm down a bit.

So, looking forward to feeling well again.

My mum is also ill with continuing cough, same with my dad. Mum also has intermittent flu aches and nausea; Dad also has spells of labyrinthitis.

However, the weather is amazing here, and although it's due to sink back down to highs of 14 degrees in a few days, until then everyone's pretending it's summer and certainly forgetting it's only April.

We have almost decided which double pushchair to buy. It's going to have to be a Phil and Ted's because G is almost the maximum weight for all of the others already (she's on the 91st centile or thereabouts). Just deciding between the models. They all seem to have their pros and cons.

Had my 28 week check with the midwife on Weds. She was absolutely lovely. G came too, and watched with interest while I had blood taken, then stroked my arm. When I had my anti-D jab (which bloody hurt actually!) and then got a plaster, G asked me if it was very sore. She could relate as she had a plaster on her knee from a rather nasty fall on the way to the sandpit at the local One O'Clock Club on Monday. My bump is measuring a bit big but apparently within the realms of OK. Just hoping it's not because of gestational diabetes - had glucose test so will find out soon - otherwise I'll have to give up my sugar addiction which some very tired days is the only thing that keeps me going.

Adriano got a job the other day but had to turn it down because they couldn't raise the salary enough to make it a viable option for us. He was really disappointed because he liked them a lot and thought he could do well there. But it was not to be.

We've given up on the Medway area for now as Adriano rightly pointed out that we want to live by the sea really so what are we doing looking there. He's hopefully about to get the go ahead to work compressed hours (5 days' work in 4 days) so that will give us other options. We still really like Eastbourne but depressingly can't afford a 3 bed house with garden there. Anywhere is a stretch to be honest, but Adriano found one in St Leonard's (near Hastings) with a huge garden which quite took his fancy so you never know. I worry about him working 4 long days with a mammoth commute either end of the day, but he reckons he's up for it. I also worry about it from my point of view. He wouldn't return until I would probably be in bed on those 4 evenings, and I will be doing bedtime as a new mum of 2 on my own for most of the week. That, to me, sounds scary. Then if I am working on his 5th day, taking advantage of the free childcare, I would really only see him at weekends. Not a lot different to now, but enough to scare me. I sometimes get lonely looking after G, even with lots of local friends. God knows how it'll be with 2.

Yesterday I got properly upset in front of G for the first time. I hated her seeing me crying. It was just because I was very very tired, and she was irrationally screaming about anything and everything. She's a bit prone to doing that, but not nearly as much as she could be, given her age. When it comes I need to be really on the ball and creative and firm or it gets the better of me. This time it got the better of me and I just sat and cried.

I'm OK now though.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Typical Day

Had a better night after awful insomnia this week.
G woke mercifully late, heard her stirring around 7.15am. Could have reasonably been any time from 6am so am grateful.
Listened to her over the monitor chatting to herself while Adriano and I felt bump kicking. Adrian also looking at his work emails (!) to check for positive comments on a project he is working hard on.
Decided I would do without a shower as I know I'll definitely get one tomorrow before work. Adriano went in to get G and take her downstairs while I began to wash and get dressed.
Heard G greeting Adriano over the monitor. Very sweet chat between them made me smile.
Heard G counting the stairs as they went down.
Opted to wear oldish grey tracksuit bottoms as they are comfortable under the bump. Big stretchy purple t-shirt and bobbly green cardigan. Feel I must look like a bag lady but at least comfortable, *sigh*.
Chose G's clothes: white t-shirt, grey jersey skirt, handknitted rainbow jumper (from Grandma and Grandad for Christmas), navy tights with red heart pattern.
Put dirty washing in bag at top of stairs, loaded myself up with all that needs to come downstairs including at least 3 glasses from our night-time drinks.
Managed to get through 2 stair gates without dropping anything or falling over the clean washing in piles on the stairs (waiting to be brought up and put away at some point).
Open lounge door to find G building her Duplo bricks with Adriano. "I'm building a 'struction Mummy" (construction). I asked for a kiss but she is too busy. Adriano has saved me a cooked veggie sausage so I collect it from under the grill and eat it hungrily.
G has eaten a slice of toast and a bite of sausage. She says her milk is 'yuck' - most unusual, must be because it's been watered down on the recommendation of the health visitor yesterday.
I make her a juice instead - also very watered down but that's what she's used to. She drinks it from an open beaker and doesn't spill any.
Adriano opens up the laptop and starts sorting out our new email account. We've decided to open a joint one just for our property search emails as they're clogging up our personal accounts.
G plays with her Doctor's kit.
I busy myself in the kitchen, sorting out the post-dinner washing up from yesterday, tidying Adriano's breakfast crocks, wiping surfaces, putting last night's now dry crocks away in cupboards and on shelves. I try not to look at the very dirty floor.
G still hungry so I put 2 crumpets in the toaster and give her half of one. Adriano declines. On mine I put marmite and tzatziki. Yum. I make a juice and a cup of tea for myself and take my pre-natal vitamin.
G still playing happily and chatting away to us. I sit with Adrian and we talk about which areas to register our property searches. We change our minds almost every week but this time it's Eastbourne, Hampden Park and Hastings. Today I'm gravitating towards Hampden Park but we'll see.
Eventually Adriano goes upstairs for a shower as it's getting very late and he has to go to work.
I tidy up the bricks and the Doctor's kit (which G has now abandoned) as they pretty much cover the floor.
Now there's space again I get out the changing mat and arrange all I need for G's nappy change. I entice her over and lay her down. She is compliant as usual, mainly because by now she is watching Peppa Pig on the TV. I unzip her sleeping bag, take off her pyjamas, change her nappy and get her dressed. We talk a bit about what she is wearing today and she seems to approve. She asks who bought her the jumper, so I tell her it was Grandma.
I sort out a large bag of dirty washing into piles: whites/bright colours/darks/wool wash only. I load the machine but it's playing up so there's a bit of under the breath cursing now and for the next 2 hours until it has definitely started on its usual cycle. I pray (in an atheist kind of a way) that the machine is not about to pack up for good.
I am getting some very mild but slightly worrying cramps which are a bit too much like period pains for my liking so I sit down and try to do nothing for a while.
G's DVD finishes and she's playing at her little table and chair so I turn it off when she's not looking. She concentrates hard on shaking the pencil sharpener box hard until all the tiny little bits of coloured pencil fall out of it onto the table. I watch her silently until she picks some of them up and sprinkles them over her toddler laptop, at which point I jump up and say 'No!' and rescue the laptop, explaining that what she's doing might break it. She picks up the sharpener again and starts bashing it hard on the table. I leave her be.
Adriano comes downstairs all ready for work so we have a longish goodbye with cuddles and kisses and nose rubs between the 3 of us. G is warm and affectionate and it makes us very smiley.
I give G an apple. She gets a bit stuck between her teeth and asks me to get it out. She is surprisingly co-operative as I dig around with my finger but I still can't do it. I bring in some dental floss and explain what it's for and show her what it looks like when I use it. She won't let me anywhere near her mouth with it but wants to play with the box it's in. She wants some so I give her a bit and she repeats everything I've just said to her as though it's me who has the apple stuck in my teeth. She sticks it in my mouth and says reassuring things in a calm voice such as 'It won't hurt you Mummy, open your mouth now'.
G wants to go in the garden. It's been very rainy but seems to have stopped so I decide to let her. She gets on her wellie boots and I help her with her coat. She wants to wear her hat so we look for it and find it. She wants to put it on herself. I ask her what she would like to do in the garden; she says watering and digging.
We got outside. I ask her to try to keep her clothes clean and dry, knowing that I'm wasting my breath but I can't help myself. She immediately gets wet and dirty but I manage to remain philosphical. She's smiling a lot and keeps running over and putting her head on my lap. She seems very happy. I show her a snail on the drain cover. I name all the parts of the snail and she listens. She suddenly shouts "Hello snail! Would you like to come out and play?" which makes me giggle and she laughs too. We talk about the things we can hear: our neighbour sweeping in her garden; an aeroplane overhead; a siren in the distance.
After a while we go back inside and I do my best to clean the mud off her clothes and stop her from walking on the carpet in her muddy wellies. She asks for some TV so I suddenly say "Would you like to do some painting?". She is immediately very excited as she's been asking to do this for days and I've been putting her off. She climbs onto her booster seat at the table and chats happily as I get all the bits together and sellotape a length of paper to the vinyl tablecloth. She wants a piece of 'stippy tape' and astounds me by calling it a 'strip' - another word I didn't realise she knew.
She gets stuck in to her finger painting so I sit next to her and open up the laptop. I check our new joint account but unsurprisingly there is no new mail yet.
She gets bored of the painting faster than usual so I try to think of different things for her to dip into the paint. I give her an old toothbrush, a bit of sponge, and a baby wipe. She enjoys experimenting for a bit then gets bored again.
I clean her up as best I can with wipes, then take her into the bathroom to wash her hands.
We have a battle of wills as she wants to keep pulling the plug out and refilling the basin and using lots and lots of soap. After about 4 or 5 times I tell her it's the last time and there'll be no more water after she next pulls out the plug. She threatens a meltdown but I quickly distract her by talking about her sticker book. It works.
We're both quite hungry by this stage so we have an early lunch. Cheese sandwiches, cherry tomatoes, soup for me (she doesn't like it) and then she requests some muesli. She amazes me by eating 3 helpings then asking for even more. I think she's had enough so I distract her by talking about our plans for the afternoon while I clean her face and hands and bib.
I do the washing up while she plays with various toys. I have the radio on (classical music) so she forgets to ask for the TV on, hooray. I go to the cupboard and get out a bag of percussion instruments for G to play with. I leave her banging a drum while I hang washing up upstairs. I can hear her trying out all the instruments so I know she's OK. When it goes a bit quiet I come back down to find her closely examining an egg shaker.
Soon it's time to get ready to go to Playgroup at the local Children's Centre. I realise I have no cash but luckily it's free so we can still go. We're ready a bit early so I ask G if she'd like to walk rather than go in the pushchair and she says yes. She seems quite calm so I don't bother putting the reins on her, we just hold hands. She walks almost all the way there, touching hedges and flowers and cars as we go past people's gardens. Without 200 yards to go she asks to go in the pushchair so I put her in and we go a bit faster for the last bit. I'm glad to push it with 2 hands as my wrist was aching before.
When we arrive she rushes in the door and sits down at the activity table. Before I can get her coat off and an apron on she has already stuck her hand in a bowl of bright blue paint. I quickly wipe her hands, whip off her coat and wrestle an apron on her. She goes very quiet when one of the care workers sits next to her and chats about what she is doing, what colours she has chosen etc. The care worker asks me when I am due and her eyebrows shoot upwards when I say not for another 3 months.
After a while G has had enough painting so we go over to the sink to wash her hands. She seems interested when the water turns yellow from the paint. She moves over to the play dough and becomes totally absorbed in cutting out various shapes with cookie cutters while I chat to an outreach worker. Again I am asked when I'm due, again there is surprise that I still have so long to go. She has 2 children so we compare notes on childbirth for a while.
G moves on to playing with the farm animals. Inexplicably in the middle of the farm mat there is also a tray full of dried pasta, flour, and sawdust. There is a younger toddler sitting in the middle of the tray and I suddenly realise that G has spent a few happy minutes covering the child's back with sawdust including down her neck. She doesn't seem to mind. I go over to stop G from carrying on, and we talk about all the different model animals on the mat.
G wanders off and plays for a bit in the toy kitchen. She then spots an indoor slide and has a few goes on that. I try to keep my distance and let her be as independent as possible.
We encourage all the children to sit in a circle and they're each given a small bowl of fruit to eat. G eats some and I finish it off as I'm starving again and she has lost interest.
We sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Wheels On The Bus, and If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands. G joins in with enthusiasm.
We all help to tidy up then it's time to go.
I take G to the nearby library which she is pleased about. We read about ten stories then go back home. I would usually stay longer but I was hungry again and I have forgotten to bring the usual bag of breadsticks/oatcakes/raisins/water.
When we arrive home we chat about what nice time we had, then I make us a snack to see us through until dinner.
G asks to go in the garden again so we get her wellies and coat and hat back on and I let her out. I put another load of washing on and sort out what we're having for dinner. I'm very tired so I opt for the pizza and chips. I consider adding veg but even that seems like too much effort at this point. I tell myself it's OK because she often eats a lot of veg and today she's had plenty of fruit. In the end she eats all of it plus a yoghurt plus the rest of this morning's apple then asks for more. She again says her (watered down) milk is "yucky" and won't drink it. She downs a fair bit of water though so I am happy with that.

Too tired to finish but the rest was basically a bath, stories and bed.

This on the one hand seems like a hideously boring post but actually it's the kind of thing I like reading on other people's blogs. There were so many funny little comments from G throughout the day which I wish I could remember, but by the time the day ends my brain is mush.

After I wrote this I remembered another part of the day where we sat at home and read about another 10 books. Am sure there are other bits I have forgotten too.

Friday, 1 April 2011

25+2 weeks

Hello heartburn. Ouch. I slept with 6 pillows last night.

Took G for her 2nd proper haircut today. She couldn't wait to sit in the purple car in front of the mirror, but when the hairdresser started squirting the water on, there were tears. Lots of them. The tears vanished when she was back out of the car and had been handed a really bad-for-her lollipop. Suddenly all was well with her world. She looks very cute but I haven't taken any pics yet. Her hair's basically back in a bob, even though I asked for it to be left longer. Oh well, it is lovely anway. After that I bought her some new hairclips (she only has 6 million) to help distract her from the evil lolly. It worked.

I cuddled my friend's 10 day old baby girl today. I couldn't stop gazing at her delicate little face. G didn't seem to mind and even exclaimed at how small she was. For the first time she seemed a little in awe, in a good way, and when I asked her what she thought about us having a baby soon(ish) she actually said 'Yeah' for the first time. Usually it's been a decisive 'no'. I know she's only 2 and doesn't know what she's talking about or what she's letting herself in for, but it was still nicer to hear a positive response.

G had a really nasty cold and cough last weekend. She had that coughing spasms at night thing and would just end up crying. I felt really sorry for her. Then I had a violent vomiting bug followed by flu aches and felt sorry for me too. Then G caught the bug but got over it within hours thank goodness. She was sick on herself while with Adriano in the supermarket. He had come out without any baby wipes or spare clothes but coped somehow anyway. Then one morning G woke at 3.50am and didn't go back to sleep til 6am. What a week.

At the moment we're still working on the assumption that Adriano will be in his current job for a while and that we'll be moving out in the Kent direction (Medway area in particular). The houses there are literally half the price of those around here. The commute cost would still have to be factored in, but it still works out cheaper for us. Still not the amount of income we have here because my own income would be cancelled out more or less by 2 kids' childcare costs, but still we'll be better off than if we stay around here. And we'd be on the property ladder. I wonder what will happen, and when. We've been playing around with ideas for so many years now.

I know this is a boring post but this is my life at the moment.

I just went to the chemist and the corner shop on my own and it felt like an adventure. I realised I genuinely can't remember what it feels like to 'get ready to go out for the evening'.

About Me

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* proud new mother * last child * youngest daughter * tallest sister * favourite auntie * honest lover * furtive photographer * diary writer * compulsive dancer * tree hugger * mooncup promoter * chocolate taster * house plant murderer *