Thought splurge.

Forgot to say last post that I have developed an umbilical hernia. How effing unglamorous is that? Am so annoyed. Can't do less lifting than I already do, but what lifting I do is considerable. It has been fairly painless but has given me some difficulty today. I am not half way through yet - am worried as I hear tales of it getting worse and lots of pain and inability to walk later on and time off work - noooooooooooooooo. Really don't want this. Then surgery required means no lifting for 6-8 weeks. Ha ha, sure I can manage that with a toddler and a baby???! Looks like I will have to wait for about 4 years or so to have it sorted then. Am so cross.

Also been very worried as I cannot hear (on doppler) the baby moving much at all. Like, not for days and days and then only a bit. And then not for days and days again. Cannot feel it either, perhaps because of anterior placenta (though had one last time and could feel loads), perhaps because it's not actually moving. Have been told not to worry, but guess what, I am anyway.

G is starting to have toddler meltdowns, right on cue for her 2nd birthday. The good news is that her affection is flowing freely these days and it's a beautiful 'saving grace' type of a thing. She is still wonderful of course. Most of all the meltdowns scare me because I imagine dealing with them while coping with less sleep and another baby. Yikes.

On Valentine's Day I put up some fabric hearts in our lounge which G noticed straight away and loves. That made me so happy. Adriano took us out for breakfast which was fun and delicious.

I am tired. I do not sleep well. I worry at night. I wake at the slightest movement from Adriano. I wake many many times a night. Help.

Still plotting to move out of London. Adriano has just applied for a job which may be the answer. He enjoys his current job very much, it's just that it's so expensive to live here, a second child just tips us over the edge from 'managing' to 'not managing' so we have to go.