Another release I need is to get back to singing and playing the piano. I used to do both so much, and it seems that the more I sing, the stronger I feel mentally.
I am so so grateful to be a full time mum right now, but hanging out as a lone adult with 2 small children takes a certain mental strength.
My evenings are spent staring at the TV/laptop in my pajamas, and I've been doing that for nearly 5 years now. I would like a bit of my life back please. Not at the expense of what I give the girls, but I do need some sort of fuel now, to carry on giving at this pace.
Sometimes, I suppose because life is so hectic during the day, once I am sitting down for the evening, into the chasm suddenly floods a huge feeling of my own inadequacy, and a strong feeling of impending doom. Maybe this is just because I am lucky enough to be a mum to 2 lovely children, something I have wanted since I was 16. So anything else would just be crapper than that.
Going to bed now. Ever hopeful of a full nights' sleep, something else I've not had much of in the last 5 years.