Sunday, 2 March 2008
TMI about rampant hormones, with a bit of blossom thrown in for good measure.
For the past 5 days I've had 100mg Clomid. On Wednesday I will have my first scan to see how the follicles are growing. The stastistics for first time IUI pregnancy are not good, and even of those that lead to pregnancy, many don't make it beyond the first trimester. That's the kind of information it's dangerous to ignore, in case we get our hopes up too much, but then how to stay positive? It's a horrible rollercoaster. Part of me thinks that even IUI is a step too far for me. But on the otherhand I'm willing to accept a miracle of up to 3 healthy babies in one go! Please. Please.
I've been crying at the most pathetic things for the past few days, so much so that Adriano can't help laughing now at the tiny things that set me off. I'm laughing with him; it's weird to watch my emotions transform and to know that this time it's probably drug-induced. What are we doing to me here?
I have survived Mothers' Day weekend with no tears visible to my mum or my future mother-in-law or my future sister-in-law (first time mum this Mothers' Day), all of whom I saw. I had hoped that this year I would be among them but it wasn't to be. Maybe next year.
In other news, I'm now half way through my job's 12-month contract, and practically counting the days. It's tough and I'm worn out with it. I don't have energy for it. I try hard to renew my enthusiasm every week but in honesty it's all about survival and that's it. No fancy extras from me I'm afraid, kids.
Adriano has gone back to work after a stupid few weeks where his company hummed and hawed about his returning contract and his future payout. Now we know for sure that he will finish his contract the same day as me. He has survived the first week back with his dignity and integrity intact.
I was called at 6.45am one day last week (it's OK I was up) with the fab news from my Antipodean friend Kirsty, that she has got her PhD! I'm well impressed, and can't wait to read her thesis. Wow.
Posted by Lucia at 23:34
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